I knew from the moment we saw the first ultrasound of our little one that I wanted to breastfeed. I couldn’t wait to nourish her and experience the precious bond that’s forged during breastfeeding. Fast forward nine months to when little Chloe arrived, my milk hadn’t set in yet. In the first few days all she got were a few drops per feeding, but the doctor said it was enough for her.
The First Week
Our wonderful Chinese confinement nanny (yue sao) stayed with us for the first 26 days after I gave birth, and there were several specific things she did that helped increase my milk supply as quickly as possible that first week back home from the hospital:
- she always kept a full thermos of warm water near my bed to keep me hydrated. Hydration was the number one factor in boosting my supply. Having the thermos there saved me from going up and down the stairs to get water as I was still recovering from labor.
- She cooked light soups for almost every meal. Again, the goal was to increase total liquid consumption which naturally increases the milk volume.
- She used a lot of traditional Chinese ingredients in her cooking that are known to promote lactation. I’ll write a full separate post on Chinese postpartum nutrition (recipes included!) but some top ingredients include dong quai (aka “female ginseng”), black sesame, red dates, and goji berries.
That first week, I also struggled with the pain of breastfeeding – a challenge that almost all breastfeeding mamas experience and fear. The physical pain of breastfeeding is real and universal. The whole arsenal of balms, cooling gel pads, and pillows I’d prepared didn’t ward off the discomfort. I also briefly tried a nipple shield at the hospital but it only increased the pain. By the end of the first week, I’d accepted that I just had to stay strong and keep trying new tools and positions because I was not about to give up breastfeeding my baby.
Breastfeeding was the hardest part of motherhood year one for me, both physically and emotionally. I’m sure many mamas out there are vigorously nodding their heads to this. There’s also an overwhelming number of products out there for breastfeeding but most that I tried were either nice to haves or not helpful.
So what were the breastfeeding must-haves? Here are my winners:
- My Brest Friend pillow – unlike most others, this one was flat with a large surface area. It’s like a little table right under your boobs for baby to rest comfortably on as she drinks. It made both of us more comfortable.
- What To Expect app – I used this free, amazing app for many functions and the breastfeeding tracker/timer is one of them! It times the breastfeeding on each side, and I aimed for at least 10 minutes per side.
- Honest nipple balm – nothing will fully erase the pain of breastfeeding, but this balm helps soothe the soreness after each session. It’s also organic and harmless in case baby ingests some at her next feed.
- Lactation massager with warming function – I used this for a few minutes before breastfeeding and it worked wonders in increasing milk flow. It would probably be even more useful before pumping because then you’re not being rushed by a hungry, crying baby. Often I didn’t have time to use the massager because baby was crying and wanted milk asap.
The Next Few Weeks
In postpartum weeks 2 through 4, my milk supply set in but I was still learning how to breastfeed effectively. Through the pain and frustration, one big thing that helped me stay calm and positive through the journey was to remember that Chloe was still learning too. She was a fragile newborn in a new world. She had previously gotten all her nutrients effortlessly in the womb, and now she had to work for it every time so it was a big adjustment. She even got a little lip blister from feeding in month 1 (very common and will heal on its own). We were learning together how to breastfeed and getting better every day.
Gradually, it did become easier but here are the biggest breastfeeding challenges I came across and how we (my husband, our nanny, and myself) overcame them.
- Baby falls asleep at the boob. Chloe kept falling asleep while breastfeeding so my husband would help wake her up by laying her down in the crib for a minute. She would wake up and fuss as soon as her head hit the crib and then she was ready to drink again. If Chloe was extra sleepy, he’d sprinkle cold water on her back! Very effective.
- Cluster feeding. When Chloe needed multiple feedings within a short period of time, I’d breastfeed the first 1-2 times. After that, I’d pump while my husband or our nanny bottle-fed her. Pumping told my body it still needed to produce more milk but I didn’t have to exhaust myself. (More on cluster feeding here)
- Not knowing how much baby drank and if she was full before going back to bed. You never know how much baby takes in when breastfeeding, but we found the “rooting” test a pretty accurate way to determine if she was hungry before bed. We’d tap our finger gently on one side of her mouth. If she turned her mouth toward that side, she was still hungry.
- Not enough supply. At week 3, Chloe still needed more milk than I could offer. Our lactation consultant from Kaiser was incredibly helpful and we had multiple calls. She recommended that I pump whenever Chloe had to bottlefeed to supplement after I breastfed. This would tell my body to produce more to meet her demand. She also recommended the Spectra S1 pump, which was noticeably more effective. Originally I was using the Medela Symphony pump provided through Kaiser insurance and I wish I’d switched to the Spectra sooner!
The Rest of Our Journey
I returned to work at 3 months postpartum. While I’m so grateful for the bonding time my company provided, I would highly recommend taking a longer maternity leave if possible. I have strong thoughts on this so I’ll spill it all in a later post. At 3 months, Chloe was fed breast milk almost exclusively and there was plenty. Sadly, my milk supply dropped quickly after month 4 when I returned to work. I work 100% remote but with back-to-back work meetings and no time or energy to pump often throughout the day, gradually, my milk supply decreased and we started supplementing more with formula.
At the time I was the only new mom on my team and while it was a choice I had, it was tough for me to tell others I couldn’t join meetings and not weigh in on projects I was leading. It pains me even now to think about the big drop in milk supply for Chloe all because I thought pleasing colleagues and pushing projects forward were more important, but I hope sharing my experience helps you to prioritize better than I did at this stage.
I’m grateful that we were able to feed Chloe breast milk for more than 50% of her daily volume through month 7. After that, I decided not to breastfeed consistently anymore (a later post to come on how I made this important decision). Any mama who has breastfed knows the level of sacrifice and commitment it takes. Persevering was tough but well worth it, and I thank my body for nourishing our baby and helping her grow strong.
If you’re struggling through this stage now or about to start on your breastfeeding or pumping journey, take a moment to appreciate the strength of your body for providing food for a little human being, and acknowledge all you’re doing for your little one.
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